So much has been written for the bride and groom about the do’s and don’ts for their weddings that I feel it is time for some suggestions on how to be a good guest…
Over the last few years there has been a definite decline in the guests approach to being invited to a wedding. They are expecting and demanding more and I feel this should now be addressed. The following might sound a bit brutal but believe me, I have had to deal with some extremely stressed brides who have been driven to distraction because of the thoughtlessness of their guests.
First of all, every guest should realise they are lucky to be invited! The individual cost will work out somewhere in the region of £60.00 per head min.
When receiving the invitation, it is good manners to reply as quickly as possible with a yes please or not able to attend. Do not leave it until the week prior to the wedding – firstly, it looks as if you were waiting to see if you get a better offer and at its worst, it just shows lack of concern for your friend. The anxiety of not knowing how many people will be attending is one of the most stressful things our brides are coping with. Table plans have to be drawn up and done again as people announce they are coming at the last minute or cancelling. Caterers will want final numbers a minimum of two weeks prior to the date so it is essential everyone has replied in good time. Don’t assume you will be expected – a written reply, either by email or the old way of a note, is essential. Once you have agreed to attend;
Don’t think you have any right to expect a say in what the menu will be. No one in this day and age will die of hunger if presented with a plate of food that is not to their liking. Either make an effort and eat what you can, or if you happen to be one of the minority with a major allergy to a certain type of food – bring your own. Do not expect the bride to have to cater for your fads, or dietary problems. It is just bad manners to expect an individual meal to be prepared especially for you. We had an example of this problem taken to the extreme. A wedding with 70 guests and 56 of them had notified the bride of allergies!
Children. It must be awful for small ones to be expected to be on their best behaviour throughout a long day at a wedding. It might be worth thinking about asking a grandparent or trusted adult to look after the little gems, while you have a day for yourselves. Not many weddings are geared up for small children but if you do need to bring them along, if they need high chairs or special seats, you should consider taking your own. Don’t expect high chairs to be supplied! Again, this is just another worry for the bride, which is what we are trying to avoid!
Photographs after the wedding ceremony can take a long time to take so be prepared to hang around and don’t whinge! You might consider having a more comfortable pair of shoes to wear for this moment.
Follow the simple suggestions above and you will be everyone’s dream guest! It’s not rocket science but it is surprising how many brides are being sent into a complete spin because their guests are being a nightmare!